It’s been almost twenty years, but whenPirates of the Caribbeanwas first announced, it was derided as a dumb money-grab. How could you adapt a theme park ride? There’s no story, so it’s just branding for the sake of branding. And yetGore Verbinski’s 2003 movie was a smash hit and a total delight thanks to its weird energy mixed with breezy adventure. Since then, various theme park ride adaptations have hit various levels of success, andJungle Cruiseis the latest to arrive from the Magic Kingdom. For those that have never been on the attraction, it’s basically a little boat cruise that gets its spark from the guide doling out jokes that are total groaners yet totally charming in the way dad jokes are charming. DirectorJaume Collet-Serra’s adaptation understands taking this light touch to the whole feature and it makes for a charming ride that may not reach the dizzying highs of the firstPiratesmovie but still channels its strong mixture of humor, romance, and action.
In 1916, the iconoclastic Lily Houghton (Emily Blunt) and her fussy-but-devoted brother MacGregor (Jack Whitehall) are on the search for the Tears of the Moon, a fabled flower that is said to have incredible healing powers. They make their way to the small town of Porto Velho in Brazil where they meet prickly skipper Frank Wolff (Dwayne Johnson). While Frank is at first reluctant to do the job, when he notices that Lily has procured an important arrowhead that supposed to help in the quest, he decides to assist the pair. However, in addition to everything in the jungle (which includes cursed conquistadors that tried to find the flower four-hundred years prior) trying to kill the travelers, they’re also being hunted by Prince Joachim (Jesse Plemons), a German officer who believes that the flower will help his side win the Great War.
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Jungle Cruiseis incredibly cute. Johnson and Blunt have terrific chemistry and bounce off each other wonderfully. They both see themselves as the true captain of this journey, so they’re constantly trying to one-up the other, which leads to a lot of fun conflict while still retaining the light sense of humor you get from the original ride. Whitehall then provides a nice counterbalance as well as an audience surrogate for those that would much rather avoid the jungle altogether and chill in a hotel room. Then you’ve got Plemons once again showing why he’s among the best actors around right now as he brings a cheerful, goofy energy to the villain that may not make Prince Joachim an iconic baddie, but he fits in nicely with the tone Collet-Serra is going for.
If I have one major qualm withJungle Cruise, it’s that I wish it were crazier. It’s weird that the film even bothers to be PG-13 when it has the light approach of a PG movie. The only thing that’s really “scary” are the cursed conquistadors inhabiting the jungle who are made of various elements like snakes or bees. It makes for a fun visual effect, and I like that they’re a conquistador who’s just comprised of bees. But that madcap energy doesn’t really carry over to the rest of the film, which is really more on the level of something likeThe African Queenwhere you take two charismatic leads, play them off each other, and put them in adventurous situations. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that, but if you’re also going to be playing with Disney money and a VFX budget, you may as well go theGore Verbinskiroute and take advantage of the fact that you’re basically writing the source material here rather than having to worry about any fidelity beyond “There must be a cruise in the jungle.”
By playing the adventure largely straight and with a light touch, there are times whenJungle Cruisestarts to drag because it’s not doing anything particularly outlandish. For example, it takes a sizable chunk of the movie for the group simply to leave the harbor. It makes it feel likeJungle Cruiseis stretching out a paper-thin story because all that’s really happening is that they need to leave to get on the river, but instead we have to go through not only setting up Frank and his conflict with a local rival (Paul Giamattidoing his best Watto impression), which is fine, but then it becomes the scene for a whole dang set piece of our heroes fighting off people trying to stop them, and rather than starting the journey with a bang, it feels like the journey gets delayed before it even starts.
And yet it’s hard to begrudgeJungle Cruisebecause it’s such a lighter-than-air confection. Again, its PG-13 rating is a little baffling since the audience most likely to enjoy this movie are kids ages 9-12. That’s not to say it’s a slog for those older than that age group, but it’s a movie that feels ideally suited for families, and there’s nothing wrong with that. I would even argue that while the action is fine on the big screen, families would be fine ordering this on Disney+ Premiere Access if it makes it easier to wrangle the young ones.
Jungle Cruiseis bright, colorful, and funny, and while it may not rivalPirates of the Caribbean, it has at least borrowed from that film’s DNA with its quest for a sacred object in a race against those (in this case, the conquistadors) who have been cursed in their quest for that object. The best compliment I can pay toJungle Cruiseis that it’s a lot likePirates of the CaribbeanorThe Mummy(1999) in that I would have no problem flipping this on a Saturday afternoon and going on the adventure.
Jungle Cruiseis in theaters and on Disney+ with Premiere Access on July 30th.
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