How many of these secretly dark movies did you love growing up?
The Karate Kid
The originalTheKarate Kidprovides down-to-earth childhood wish fulfillment. What kid wouldn’t want the ability to take down their bullies with awesome karate skillsandwin the heart of their current crush? Yet things get a little too real when you stop and analyze what’s going on with the movie’s senseis.
First, Sensei John Kreese (Martin Kove) of the Cobra Kai dojo is definitely dealing with some psychological spillover from his time in Special Forces during the Vietnam War, carrying his aggression over to his students. Then it is revealed that Mr. Miyagi’s (Pat Morita) wife died during childbirth in an internment camp as Miyagi served in the U.S. Army during World War II. It’s no wonder those two men sought serenity through combat training and offered it up as a violent therapeutic technique to the next generation.
The Goonies
The Goonieswas a great film for wannabe treasure hunters. Featuring a band of misfit school kids from all different social ladders, it feels like a fun inclusive-for-the-80s adventure for children. But in the words ofCyndi Lauper, some quirks are good enough for the Goonies but not good enough for the rest of us when you start to think about them.
First, the economic disparity and issues with home ownership among the adults is so bad you’d think this move took place today. It’sup to the kidsto save their homes? How badly did their parents fail for the future of the neighborhood to depend on a bunch of 12-year-olds finding lost pirate treasure? Plus, an elementary school child shouldn’t have any say or right to adopt a fully grown strongman with special needs, yet that’s exactly what Chunk (Jeff Cohen) does with Sloth (John Matuszak) at the end.
The Sound of Music
This classic musical movie features fun whimsy and lovely singing byJulie Andrews. Yet when the hills aren’t alive with the sound of music, they are clad in the foreboding rise of the Third Reich.
The last portion of the film has our main characters on the run from the Nazi party out of Austria and into Switzerland as a safe haven. If you take away the music,The Sound of Musicis a World War II film set during the Anschluss. It’s about to be a dark couple of years for the Von Trapp children, is what we’re saying.
The Indian in the Cupboard
This 1995 film about a boy with a magic cupboard that brings his toys to life is much more perturbing than you’d think. Even if you put the cultural insensitivity aside, the movie has a lot of elements that make you question why this story was written for children.
Making a plastic Native American toy sentient is one thing, but having that now-sentient-mini-Iroquois talk about being a widower and survivor of the French-Indian War is a bit weird. It’s still not as weird as depicting a child with godlike powers who brings sentient life to toys, and can scare living toys to death via a heart attack upon the toy’s initial shock of existence. Yes, that happens.
The NeverEnding Story
Many children related to Bastian (Barret Oliver) finding refuge from his painful day-to-day life in a book. Many adults do the same thing. Yet the cold reality found inThe NeverEnding Storythat can be as disturbing as a horse drowning in a swamp or a villain that’s a metaphor for the death of imagination.
The reason why there are so many wondrous elements in the movie is so Bastian can escape from his grief and depression. His mom is dead, his father neglects him, he’s bullied at school, and he’s battling everything within alone inside a dirty attic. Can someone just hug this kid and get him some actual counseling and love, please?
E.T. The Extra Terrestrial
A lost alien just wants to find his way back home from Earth. That’s the simple, kid-friendly story ofE.T.But beyond the scariness of the quarantine scene, there’s a bit more uncomfortableness to unravel.
Aside from the typical “Parents, why don’t you know what your kids are doing at home?” issue, the fallout of this movie is troubling. The government knows aliens are real. Not only are they real, they have an innate ability to heal other creatures and bring things back to life. If you don’t think Elliot(Henry Thomas)is going to be massively interrogated by the feds, and NASA isn’t going to be funded as a science army to capture those aliens for medical cures and possible immortality, you are incredibly naive.
Raiders of the Lost Ark
Our first introduction to Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford) is full of swashbuckling adventure, treasure hunting, and Nazi punching. While it isn’t really a kids movie, many of us sawRaiders of the Lost Arkas kids, and it is a great movie for kids and kids at heart. Yet there’s still some dark points that often get overlooked.
The fact that Indy and Marion (Karen Allen) first hooked up when Marion was 15-years-old and Indy was in his 20s is very cringey. There’s also disturbing reality that the Ark of the Covenant is real, it can melt faces, and “top men” within the U.S. government are keeping it locked up for what would surely be altruistic reasons that will benefit mankind, right? Right?
Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory
Who can make the sun rise? Make your mind askew? Use chocolate to cover up a kid murder or two? Willy Wonka, the candy man, can. While generations were entertained byGene Wilder’s eccentric Wonka, no one can ignore the dark morality tale hidden under the candy coated shell.
Augustus Glump nearly drowns in a chocolate river. Violet balloons up into a gigantic blueberry. And remember that one psychedelic scene on the boat featuring close-ups of insects, eyes, and a chicken being beheaded as Wonka eerily sings a crazy song? Morality plays are one thing, but massive child endangerment is another (and this film has both). It’s a great film, but it is anything but sweet.
