Halina Reijn’s 2024 filmBabygirlis one of recent cinema’s most buzzy and talk-about movies. Whether it’sNicole Kidmanholding eye contact while downing a glass of milk,Harris Dickinson’s sexy swaying toGeorge Michael, or raving in business casual attire,Babygirlhas got audiences talking. StarringNicole Kidmanas a woman who finds unexpected sexual pleasure in a relationship with her domineering but much younger intern (Dickinson),Babygirlis fascinating and sexy in many ways. There are twists and turns that make it a great time at the movies with a crowd. But there’s a piece of backstory inBabygirlconcerning Kidman’s character Romy and her childhood growing up in cults that is unnecessary and almost derails the entire premise.
‘Babygirl’ Offers an Explanation for the Protagonist’s Kink
Romy is a tech CEO who begins this affair with Dickinson’s character, Samuel, after he inappropriately but correctly identifies her as sexually submissive.She bosses people around all day, but secretly wishes to be bossed around in the bedroom. Her husband Jacob (Antonio Banderas),is similar in a way that doesn’t work for them. He’s a theatre director who tells people where to stand and what to do all day but doesn’t feel comfortable doing it with his wife when she asks. That’s all you need to tell a story like this. These characters are well-suited to the plot without any more information. It should be enough that Samuel is able to see Romy in a way others haven’t – especially her husband.It’s easy to understand why Romy is drawn to him.We as humans long to be seen and understood by someone like Samuel who can do it effortlessly.
But the movie drops in a bit of backstory thatRomy grew up in “cults and communes” outside modern society. That’s why she has this sexual preference, or kink, the movie implies without really examining it further. It’s how she was raised. Sure! Cults are sort of proof that wanting to be told what to do is not an uncommon human psychological experience at all. It’s not that it’s unclear where writer/director Reijn was going with this. It’s almost a little too clear.
Harris Dickinson’s ‘Babygirl’ Dance Isn’t Just a Thirst Trap
Nicole Kidman’s latest film wouldn’t be the same without that “Father Figure” needle drop.
The issue is that if you look at it as a direct 1:1 explanation for why Romy craves submission in her sex life, it’s just not necessary. It’s a hat on a hat. A kink is not a superpower; you don’t need to give it an origin story.Not every submissive grew up in a cult or had some experience that explains it.Back in 2015,The Atlanticlaid out a related concern abouthow theFifty Shades of Greyseries portrays Christian’s BDSM kink as a mental illnesslinked to childhood abuse.
‘Babygirl’ Is Ashamed of the Relationship at Its Core
Whether the cult is or is not responsible for Romy’s desires, she feels shame about them.The only shameful thing she does is have an affair outside a monogamous marriage.Oh, and conduct a sexual relationship with an employee way below her. That’s it! But she’s embarrassed throughout the film with Samuel in ways that are sometimes human and vulnerable, but other times almost paralyzing in a way that’s concerning. Towards the end, Romy has a breakdown in front of her husband and admits to the affair. She insists that the relationship and sexual discovery she’s had about herself have nothing to do with her childhood. She says it has everything to do with some kind of darkness that’s always been inside her. But given that the movie often shows flashes of those cults and communes intercut with her daughter dancing in a traditional dress… are we sure the movie wants us to believe that it doesn’t think her “dark thoughts” aren’t liked? She thinks she’s a freak and she’s simplynot.
It doesn’t seem that the movie intended to kink shame.The film ends with Romy and Jacob reunited and having sex the way Romy wants it. That shows us that she’s become more comfortable with herself and expressing her needs. But by wedging in that cult backstory, and feeling the need to define a kink, it does not helpBabygirl’s case. It seems as if the movie itself was ashamed of what she wants, and unfortunately,that undercuts anything positive it might be saying about BDSM relationships and sexual liberation.Plenty of people just dig power play, and that’s fine! It’s not something to be ashamed of at all. And it’s certainly not something that only comes from having a less-than-desirable childhood.
