Remember theHugh JackmanmovieReal Steel, which was like a live-action movie version of the classic toy game Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots? Well, Hollywood apparently still thinks that’s a good idea, as Universal and Mattel have tappedVin Dieselto star in aRock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robotsmovie, one that in keeping with Diesel’sFast and Furiousethos, is really about family.
See,Ryan Engle(Rampage) wrote the script, which follows a father (not Hugh Jackman) and son (notDakota Goyo) who form an unlikely bond with an advanced war machine. Sound familiar?
It’s unclear whether Diesel will play the Dad, a robot or another character altogether, but he’ll produce the movie with his sister, Samantha Vincent, under their One Race Films banner, while Kevin McKeon will oversee the project for Mattel.
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Though this does sound like an appropriate vehicle for Diesel, it also feels like something of a cruel joke, since this property obviously should’ve gone toDwayne Johnson, aka The Rock. I mean, the branding potential there is endless. So did The Rock pass on this project? Did Diesel cut his fee just get his hands on this property as a way of sticking it to hisFast and Furiousco-star, with whom he notoriously feuded on set? Could they somehow reunite, with DJ playing one of the fighting robot? I have so many questions, all of them tongue-in-cheek. Why?
Because I don’t really care! I didn’t likeReal Steel, and that movie co-starredAnthony Mackie, whom I adore.Steven Spielbergcame to my screening ofReal Steel, and I still didn’t like it! So no matter how thisRock ‘Em Sock ‘Emmovie progresses, or who signs on to direct this thing, the chances of me ever seeing it are pretty slim. I mean, I see almost everything and still can’t bring myself to watch Diesel’sBloodshot!
To me, this feels like another disappointingGodzilla vs. Kong/Pacific Rimmovie waiting to happen, but with robots instead of monsters/kaiju, and Vin Diesel instead of The Rock. Yawn! Everyone else on staff seemed excited about this match made in movie heaven, but Mattel can wake me when Barbie hops in a stolen pink Hot Wheels car with a magic 8 ball in her pocket en route to her Malibu dreamhouse.
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